I just spent a few days reading over the first part of the draft* of my book.
I printed it out. got my pen ready. started to read it out loud.
at first it was okay. then it was boring. then it was painful.
then it was so hard to keep going that I was literally reading a few lines, groaning loudly, then looking at the internet. hitting up the facebook. etc
definitely the lowest point was the day I went to bed crying and woke up crying ’cause I felt like I couldn’t face another day of reading my shite.
when mark left for work, I was literally under my covers in a fetal position, sobbing. he kissed my head and left.
I was this cat.
but today, today! just now I finished reading the draft in its entirety and I feel better. I feel like some of it’s definitely shite, but some of it’s okay. and now I’m up to the first round (of what I expect will be many rounds) of making the shite parts better. or deleting them.
this video helped me feel like I wasn’t so alone. and also, I think the groaning? it did NOT help. talking about it helped. crying helped. seeing my friends helped. taking a break helped. finishing the reading helped.
now I’m this cat.
ready to get on to the next part. wish me luck.
*I didn’t know I’d need to read back the draft so soon, thought I’d finish the whole first draft, but this is maybe…a third? 60 pages, 20,000-ish words.2 Comments